With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
