You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude i'm inner monologue high
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
