I could have mohawked her pubes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Never underestimate the power of titties
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
