you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Enjoy the penises
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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