Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
