When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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