just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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