Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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