Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
