Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
