I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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