I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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