I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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