That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
