goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
