Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
