We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
