Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
