He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
don't judge my taste in strippers
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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