needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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