okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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