yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
