Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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