I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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