I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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