The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
