in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
