Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
