a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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