Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
