YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
