so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
