So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
