Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
