is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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