why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
