I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
