Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
