We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
