Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
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Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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