how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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