You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize