My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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