God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
