He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize