This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
