Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize