I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
