no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He better not be in your backpack
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
