I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
