umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
