2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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